The Countdown Begins

Unknown to many, but today, March 26, is when I officially start counting down the days until my birthday.

Birthday Alert! Birthday Alert! Birthday Alert!
Birthday Alert! Birthday Alert! Birthday Alert!

April 23, my Mom's birthday, is exactly 2 weeks before my birthday.
March 26 is exactly 6 weeks before my birthday. Every year I use March 26 as my marker as to when I'll turn a new page in my life.

Why March 26? Because it's also my forever crush's birthday!

December 1988.

Let's call her M. She was my seatmate during class; has always been my classmate since preschool. She was very much fun to talk to; we had lots of great conversations together, none of which I can even recall now. I realized that I liked her and for some strange reason I revealed this secret to some of my classmates and my teacher. Of course those guys do not want to keep my secret, so they planned something.

During our Christmas party, we were playing hot potato. If you do not know the game, it's passing a thing (which we'll call the "potato") to your seatmate while the music keeps playing. Whoever holds the "potato" as the music stops, he/she gets a consequence.

As usual, we were seated beside each other as the game played. My thought was to pass the "potato" as soon as it gets on my lap as I'd rather not get a consequence. Of course, stupid me did not realize that they can always get to M, and they did.

The consequence? She gets to kiss me on the cheek.

She begs that she not do it. With my knees shaking, I implore the others not to let her do it. Of course at the back of my mind I'd rather let her do it! Who would not in my place?

In the end, she did it, and somehow it ended between us. We somehow avoided each other the rest of the school year and we just talked when the need arises.

The next year, we were on different classes. And the next year, and the year after, and the year after next, etc. The awkwardness made us grow apart and we did not have any communication at all for the next 5 years.

We became classmates again during my 3rd year in high school. The awkwardness somehow lessened as we were able to talk to each other. It also helped that no one remembers that I had and still have a huge crush on her.

She was classmate again in my senior year. This time, her friends keep teasing me to her, or sometimes the other way around. I paid no mind since I can easily say that that thing was a long time ago.

Everything changed when it was revealed to me by the bf of one of her friends that she had a crush on me during 3rd grade. I felt so happy, like somehow it was the 3rd grade again. Of course, she didn't know that I knew, or maybe she knew I knew but she didn't tell. It didn't matter.

I mustered enough courage to give her a Parker ballpen during Christmas (which she immediately lost a few weeks later), and a small teddy bear with "Congratulations!" written on its tummy. Yes, it's cheap, but it was all I can afford then.

Of course, everything's moot as we never became an item. I never even had guts to ask her out on a date or court her. We went to different schools after graduation. She found her guy who eventually became her husband, and they now live happily with their 2 children.

Until now, I always remember her birthday. After many calculations, I realized that we will always end up with the same day for our birthdays, and so I used her birthday as my countdown.

I sometimes recall the "hot potato" incident and those moments when we're together, and I'd always wondered if I'd missed the opportunity to be with her. She's happy now, so I guess it's better this way.

I'm happy for you and your family M. Happy Birthday!